2017 F3 Florence Christmas Party

When: 12/8/17

QIC: Knobby

The Pax: Monkey, CDC, Squatter, Threadcount, Flanders, Spam (RESPECT), Vila, Bowzer, Banjo, Swan (RESPECT), Belding (RESPECT), Beaker, Dunkin, Speedwalker, Ginger, Dipstick, Sparkles, Moped (RESPECT), Foxy, Milton, Thunderbird, Magic Man, Mr. Rogers, Uhaul, No Show (RESPECT), Pinto, Wide Right, Putin, BandAid, Spirit Fingers, Nurse Jackie, Knobby (QIC)


Conditions:  37 degrees F, rainy (but a nice ~70 degrees F and dry inside)


The Thang

Excellent pancake and sausage breakfast! There was not an official contest to see who ate the most…even if it looked like YHC was competing (No Show and Magic Man had plenty to say…hahaha).

Golden Hammer Award (Plank Challenge!)

After a valiant effort by all, Uhaul came out victorious. I’ll forego any excuses…I was not DFQ enough (in my dress clothes and dress shoes). I appreciated the mumblechatter of “Will the grasshopper become the teacher?”…but much to learn I have.

Awards Ceremony:

2nd F: Uhaul

No Rep: Foxy

Respect MVP: Belding

Double Respect MVP: Moped

*Happy Clown: Pinto (* PAX who focus first on not leaving the Six behind.)

Toughest Q: Yogi (Accepted in absentia…a close vote, but Yogi edges out the others with his combination of lots of running and exercises…causing a lot of hatred across the PAX!)

Yo-Yo: Milton

Backblaster Master: YHC, CDC!!!

3rd F: Dipstick

FNG of the Year: Spam

Mumble Chatter: Dizzy (Accepted in absentia)

Golden Toilet Paper: Flanders


Brian “Duke” Kelley Man of the Year:

Duke was one of us, a member of the F3 Florence PAX that left us this year, much too soon. He was a loving husband to his wife, a high impact man in his work and in our community, and a beloved friend to many. This award is given in his memory to honor another HIM in our PAX.

This year’s winner: Ross “Squatter” Hill

Of the many responsibilities he has, Squatter is also a teacher at South Florence High School. Many of his students do not have a father or a father-figure in their life. He created a club called “The Cave” that meets monthly to: Eat Manly Food, Learn Manly Skills, and Discuss Manly Character! Topics that have been covered include: how to tie a neck tie, giving a firm handshake, grilling a burger, ironing a dress shirt, and taking care of basic hygiene. An exciting upcoming topic will be: how to land a plane (with actual simulator instruction)! Instead of merely allowing these boys to only have professional athletes, movie stars, and musicians as role models, Squatter is taking an active part in teaching and modeling true manhood.

Squatter exemplifies F3. He is a High Impact Man, a HIM. He is dedicated to forcible contact to strong effect. He is a Disrupter, that Somebody who makes things happen. He is a natural born world-beater…an enemy of the status quo, despised by Goo Nation for the threat he poses to its continued existence. Squatter is more than deserving of this award. F3 Florence is proud to have this man in our PAX, and I am proud to call him a brother!


BOM: Moped


Brothers, this is my third Christmas Party since joining F3, and I have to say it was the best. A big thank you goes to those that helped make it possible: Knobby for planning, Ginger for his gracious hospitality, all of the PAX that helped with set-up and cooking (Ginger, Monkey, Spirit Fingers, Knobby), and in true typical F3 fashion, all of the others that jumped in to help out upon arrival. It was great to fellowship with the brothers YHC sees on a regular basis, and to catch up with those that have been absent for a while. As we head into the New Year, let’s continue to lean upon each other as we become better men, better fathers, better husbands, better friends, and better brothers. Iron Sharpens Iron. Let’s continue to hold each other accountability and sharpen one another in the days and years to come.



  • We have another PAX that will be Dancing For Our Future Stars: Thriller! I’m pretty excited about this and we need to make sure we put our full support behind him. I know that when I participated (#CDCGotRobbed) it made a world of difference seeing my brothers there cheering me on. There will be more in the days to come as to what we as a PAX can do. Stay tuned!

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